Want to be welcoming?: Build a Better Flier

Wow, it's been months.  But as this amazing school year wraps up, I am ready to dust off my blog!  There are so many new projects and endeavors coming up that I want to share.

First up is a three-session workshop called Baby Is a Blessing, designed for expectant Jewish parents.  It's based on a curriculum developed by Project Welcome (of blessed memory), a program of the Union for Reform Judaism, and explores Jewish naming traditions, ceremonies for welcoming your baby, and the spiritual and emotional dimensions of entering parenthood.

Members of the Shir Hadash community always remark on our congregation's welcoming nature and warmth to diversity, but that's only once you get here!  How was I going to communicate this central aspect of our identity?

I'm no design expert...if you want the real thing, check out Nice Jewish Artist Isaac Brynjegard-Bialik (husband of my friend and colleague Rabbi Shawna Brynjegard-Bialik).  But in putting the word out about our workshop, we tried to be thoughtful and reflective about how our flier represents us.

1)  The Jewish community honors all types of families.  Instead of a couple gazing down at their newborn, or a husband putting his hand protectively over his wife's beautiful belly, we chose an image of a baby's hand resting on an adult's hand.

2)  Families are formed in different ways.  Because adoptive families are marginalized through omission, we explicitly mentioned that the workshop is for both biological and adoptive parents.  We also were specific about GLBT families, single parents, multi-ethnic families, and families of mixed faith.

3)  No place for parenting politics.  This is a safe space from the trumped-up controversies and judgments around parenting styles and personal choices around feeding, sleeping, holding, discipline, and more.

4)  Being in community isn't about the money.  The workshop costs $30 and we made sure to mention that the fee can be waived.

5)  We're wheelchair accessible.  Of course we are.  So are you.  It's the law.  Using the icon shows that inclusion and accessibility are values, not legislation.

While I'm happy with the final product, which you can see for yourself here,  it is secondary to what I gained by taking the time to think about how a flier can be more than date, time, and cost--it can be a reflection of and an extension of our community.  Or at least that makes me feel better about how I spent a good chunk of this day.

Shabbat Shalom everyone!
 

Your Six Words, My "Social Sermon"

"For Sale:  Baby shoes, never worn."  According to legend, Hemingway was once challenged to write a story in just six words, later saying that it was his best work.

Inspired, Larry Smith of the storytelling magazine Smith created the Six Word Memoir, using the tagline "One life.  Six words.  What's yours?"  Dozens of celebrities and thousands of ordinary souls have submitted their own micro-memoirs.  You can read some of the best here.

In fact, tonight, September 21, the 92YTribeca, together with Smith and the Reboot project, is hosting its own Jewish spin on this theme, called "Oy!  Only Six?  Why Not More?" in which participants are invited to share their Jewish journeys...like these.

Finding the words to capture our stories and reflect on our legacies is a quintessential Jewish project.  (Moses, apparently, did not get the memo about the six-word limit, since he spent all 34 chapters of the book of Devarim--the Book of Words--recalling his journey with the Jewish people.)

At this season, in which we assess the year gone by and make promises for the year ahead, I'd like to invite each of us to share your own Six-Word Jewish Story.  Send me your stories in the comments, by email, on facebook, via twitter using the hashtag #oy6words, or even (gasp) face-to-face.

And then what?   These stories, our stories, the words of our community, will shape a "Social Sermon" for Shabbat Shuvah.  A "social sermon" is a deeply participatory experience, capturing and building on an online dialogue that begins here, now.  New Year, fresh start, six words.

Don't Go To School!

What could be more important than being at school?

…Being at shul.

Every year,  I talk with the students about not going to school during the High Holy Days.  One year, a parent approached me to share his opinion that whether or not a child attends school is a parental decision alone, and that it was not the place of the synagogue to urge students and parents to attend services instead of school on the High Holy Days.  

While I have a great deal of respect for this person, I want to offer a different perspective.

We are part of a community, and our actions have an impact on other members of the community.  During the High Holy Days, we come together to pray, reflect, repent, and forgive.  We can only make this journey with others at our sides. 

Furthermore, as a tiny minority, it is always a challenge to help the larger world honor our different religious traditions and respect the commitments that Judaism expects of us.  Many well-meaning schools, teachers, and coaches do not know very much about Judaism, and so every member of the congregation needs to be “out and proud” in order for our community to be visible.

Some families have experienced difficulty in explaining to their students’ schools the significance of the High Holy Days.  What if your child’s school, teacher, or coach doesn’t understand the significance of these sacred times?  These are the steps I recommend in advocating for your son or daughter:

·         Start early, like tomorrow.  Politely, at a quiet time, explain to the teacher or coach directly that these are holy days, a time of reflection, the most serious time of the year.  Ask if the program can be rescheduled.  If not, ask how your child’s absence can be accommodated without penalty or negative consequences.  Go in with the presumption of good will, without bombastic assertions of your legal rights.  That can come later, if it is really necessary at all.

·         Repeat Step 1 as needed.  If unsuccessful, repeat Step 1 with the principal, adding that you weren’t able to successfully communicate the importance of the holiday to the teacher.  The principal may become defensive.  Assure him or her that you know how sensitive they are to issues of religious and cultural diversity and that you are confident that they will handle the situation appropriately.

·         In the unusual case that the principal is unyielding or even confrontational, the local JCRC (Jewish Community Relations Council) exists for this reason. 

·         It is vital that we follow through.  If, after all these conversations, you end up bringing your daughter in for the group presentation in the morning and then to the family Rosh Hashanah service in the afternoon, the teacher might be justified in concluding that it wasn’t that important to you after all.

It is sometimes uncomfortable to dwell on the places where Jewish life diverges from the world around us.  This is a time to clarify your values to your children.  As my friend Rabbi Neal Schuster likes to say, “Decide where you stand…and stand there.”  By acting on your convictions, you will foster tolerance and respect in the school system as well as teaching your children pride in their identity.

This year Rosh Hashanah falls on Wednesday night, September 28, and Thursday, September 29, and Yom Kippur falls on Friday night, October 7, and Saturday, October 8.  We hope to see your whole family at High Holy Day services on those days.

Using Stories to Teach Jewish Values

As the People of the Book, we have what to say when it comes to using the power of story to convey our values.  The popularity of PJ Library has introduced Jewish books to a new generation of young children and their parents.  When it comes to school-aged children, parents often ask me for suggestions about what Jewish books their children might enjoy.

Here is a secret treasure that I wish more people knew of: the website of the Association of Jewish Libraries.  Under the direction of the amazing Linda Silver, it includes dozens of annotated bibliographies, book lists, and guides for starting Jewish book clubs.  And its crowning glory is a searchable database called the Jewish Values Finder, which includes over 2,000 Jewish children's books organized by age group, topic, holiday, Jewish value, and more.  Try it out and see!

Welcome!

Welcome to my Jewish Education blog, Shir Imagination.  I will use this space to open discussion as well as to share interesting or useful resources from around the web.  Please explore with me!